Filed under: Eating my shorts | Tags: alternative energy, marketing, renewable energy, solar, Solar energy, solar power
You might be wondering, what type of shorts am I talking about? Edible shorts? Nope. These are 100% cotton boxers. But to be honest, I don’t think I will have to eat my shorts – for three reasons:
- The fact that you are reading this. How did you find this link? Because it’s been passed by word of mouth from person to person, free. I haven’t done an ad campaign, just a web video and a few emails. This is part of my message to solar companies. I know the economy is awful and your credit has hit the windshield in a thousand car pileup on Route 128. Becoming the number one brand in solar has nothing to do with launching a multi-million dollar ad campaign, and everything to do with using web video and social media – just as I’ve done with Solar Shorts. After all, with solar energy we need to educate people, not market to them. What better medium to do this than with the web?
- The incredible promise of the solar industry in the wake of the passage of the Production Tax Credit and President Obama’s stated goal of tripling clean energy production within the next three years. There are numerous solar companies that will need branding, web design, video, etc, and one of them will hire us – perhaps your company.
- We know clean energy marketing. We’ve helped wind energy companies tell their stories better and become leaders in the industry. Sure, wind is different from solar, but there are some fundamentals of telling the story of clean energy that cross all sectors. Click here to download a pdf with background information on Captains of Industry and samples of our work for renewable energy companies.
Since I started this effort with my business partner and colleagues at Captains of Industry®, I’ve been struck by the responses. Many people I’ve interacted with have been feeling helpless as our economy has deteriorated. One day they’re talking to a client, the next day they get a terse email saying that person is no longer with the company. Budgets have been slashed all over. When people have seen me pledge to eat my shorts if Captains doesn’t land a solar energy account in 2009, they see it as an act of defiance and determination (funny but serious at the same time). My hope is that this sense of determination spreads. All the negative talk is self-defeating. Every time a reporter uses words like “downward death spiral” to describe our economy, it spirals down more. Enough! Here we are worried about our financial situation, and every roof in this country could be capturing the free energy of the sun today, to help us all save money, rely less on expensive imported fuels, and halt global warming. The country that invented the Internet is going to reinvent energy – and I invite determined clean energy professionals to join in a discussion here about how we’re going to THINK POSITIVE and make this energy revolution happen. Please post your ideas here at Solar Shorts. You can also email me at any time: Tpage (at) captainsofindustry.com But don’t wait until December, because I really don’t want to have to eat my shorts!
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The doctor had an interesting suggestion: Burn the shorts and eat the ashes. Pick a solar energy brand you’d like as a client and use their product to burn your shorts. If that doesn’t work, bon appetite.
Comment by Ari April 8, 2009 @ 12:48 amRobert and Kristin: All very good suggestions. Robert, the concept of just the glass of water to go with the shorts has a minimalist quality to it. And Kristin, it was interesting to read about the artist who ate all kinds of things. If someone can eat a Cessna 150, surely I can manage a pair of shorts. But just to be on the safe side, we will be speaking to medical professionals (no, seriously).
Best,
Ted
Comment by Ted Page March 29, 2009 @ 10:31 pmTed,
May I suggest consulting the experts in the field of short eating and other unconventional consumables.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Lotito
Comment by Kristin March 29, 2009 @ 6:09 pmTed,
While I find all the gastronomical suggestions amusing, I think everyone is missing the point here. Naturally, if you added enough ingredients in large enough quantities, you may not even be able to taste your shorts or know that you are eating them. I think, in the unlikely event you do have to eat your shorts, they should be enjoyed pure and raw with a simple glass of water to wash them down.
To help you in your effort to land a solar account in 2009, I urge you to register for this event: http://boston.bizjournals.com/boston/event/5005 There are sure to be members of the solar industry in attendance.
By the way, I did several brief searches to see if I could find any history of human short eating and only found numerous references to dogs eating underwear. So I guess if you do have to eat your shorts you need to turn into a dog first.
Good luck!
~Robert
Comment by Robert March 28, 2009 @ 11:32 amDear Nobody of Consequence,
All excellent suggestions, especially the short sausage. Also, the possibility of actually grinding up the shorts into tiny fibers for easier digestion is worthy of Top Chef.
Ted
Comment by Ted Page March 26, 2009 @ 9:15 pmTed, taking to heart your very valid concerns about the rubber waistband, and the superb Ziti al Forno i Pantaloncini suggestion, the clear winner would have to be Ziti with a side of spicy homemade short-sausage.
You get all the aforementioned benefits of the Ziti, with none of the Upper/Lower/Middle GI issues that would come with eating a stringy waistband straight-up.
And if there’s any shorts left over, I’m sure the chefs at Finale would jump at the chance to make a delectable mousse or brulee using a base of finely ground fibers.
Bon apetit.
Comment by Nobody of Consequence March 26, 2009 @ 8:25 pmPersonally mr. funny man I’ve been thinking about what the best shape is to cut your shorts into to make them go down the easiest. Perhaps confetti would be best. You could sprinkle your shorts on pizza, and put them in omelettes and soup etc. Kind of make a day out of it.
Comment by THE HOLE THING (Louise) March 26, 2009 @ 2:35 pmHi Ted,
Comment by Dave March 26, 2009 @ 1:53 pmI don’t think you will have to eat your shorts, We are looking for solar farms for sale or projects with all licences for our European investors.
Michael,
Ziti al Forno i Pantaloncini is an amazing choice and is one of the tops I’ve heard. I think we may have to do an event at Finale (if I have to eat my shorts) so I can finish the dinner with a fine desert!
Ted
Comment by Ted Page March 26, 2009 @ 1:40 pm1. Bravo. Clear you guys get the content marketing this, are hungry for renewable energy clients, and are a lot of fun to work with.
2. I’m thinking Ziti al Forno i Pantaloncini (Baked Ziti with Shorts.) The ziti will mask the flavor, the tomato sauce should break down the fibers, and everything tastes great after 40 minutes under mozzarella in a hot oven.
Good luck.
Comment by Michael Troiano March 26, 2009 @ 11:39 amJim and Dr. Sowhat,
Thank for your kind offer. It’s good to know there are emergency GI services available. Dr. Sowhat is well-known for his famous shorts-removal procedure, so I’m sure I’d be in good hands.
Ted
Comment by Ted Page March 25, 2009 @ 6:56 pmTed,
You know of course that I represent a number of Boston companies and organizations. Today I’m writing you specifically representing Dr. Richard Sowhat. Dr. Sowhat is an internationally known GI specialist who happens to have time now for a few good patients. Dr Sowhat is available for regularly scheduled as well as emergency GI operations of all kinds with a speciality in “Foreign Gastroentrelogical Objects” and has served anonymous clients—including yourself— who “put their foot in their mouth and more…” We look forward to “bidding out”your forthcoming emergency operation.
Sincerely.
On behalf of Dr. Sowhat
Jim (we represent anything) Herzig
Comment by Jim Herzig March 25, 2009 @ 6:28 pmTed,
I think you should eat your shorts if you DO win a solar energy account. That way, not only will we Tedians rest easy knowing the solar energy industry is teamed with the best marketing company in the world, we’ll also get to share a hearty chuckle and heart-warming sigh as we watch you savor your short salad.
What’s more, the bio-recycling benefit we all gain from you chewing, rather than tossing, your shorts will promote digestive-recycling the world over.
To support your admirable, selfless act of undie eating, I will break BVDs with you, and prepare a secret sauce to accompany the brief repast.
cin cin!
John
Comment by John Sturtevant March 25, 2009 @ 3:34 pmNever underestimate the power of a nice curry sauce.
Just be sure to wash with dye- and perfume-free detergent. There’s nothing nice about strong undertones of Tide.
Comment by Step Schwarz March 25, 2009 @ 3:30 pm@ Dan: I’m assuming he plans to go with the traditional “undershorts,” as showcased at the video’s conclusion. Ted’s a man of orthodox taste.
Boy, I hope it doesn’t come to that. If it does, though, might I recommend some kind of (fiber-softening) citrus dressing–accompanied by, say, a saucy sauvignon blanc?
Pairing wine with underclothes is always such a challenge.
Comment by Ben March 25, 2009 @ 3:21 pmDan raises a good question regarding the zipper. The actual shorts are boxers with no zipper. My biggest concern would the rubber waistband. Bob’s suggestion of hot Buffalo sauce with caviar and a vintage red is tantalizing. Thank you for the thoughtful food and wine pairings, Bob.
Comment by Ted Page March 25, 2009 @ 3:18 pmted .. since I don’t have a solar energy company, I’m rooting for the shorts — and I think extra hot Buffalo sauce with a topping of russian caviar and a vintage red would go very well (depending on brand of shorts, of course.) As always – I LOVE your videos!
Comment by bob cramer March 25, 2009 @ 3:12 pmis the illustration at the top right actually the shorts you would eat? I do not think the zipper will be digestable.
Comment by Dan Fogelson March 25, 2009 @ 3:09 pmyou go ted….
Comment by nancy page March 24, 2009 @ 3:35 pm